In a heartfelt and emotional statement, a South African woman shared the painful experience of surviving domestic abuse and the lasting impact it had on her life. Her story speaks to the broader issue of gender-based violence (GBV), shedding light on the emotional and physical toll abuse can take on victims. As she courageously shared her story, it became clear that this was more than just a personal testimony; it was a call for society to take a hard look at the reality of abuse and its long-term consequences.

The woman began by making it clear that she would no longer discuss the individual responsible for her suffering. She expressed that she was done with him being a part of her story, refusing to indulge in the past anymore. She shared a memory from a night that still haunts her, a night where her life was almost taken. She was working late, doing translations for an advert and radio drama when her abuser entered the room. Despite her exhaustion and the pressure of needing to submit the work by morning, he insisted on talking, and the situation quickly escalated.

She recalled the violent attack that followed: her abuser physically overpowering her, sitting on her, choking her, and punching her. In that moment, she felt numb. She described the experience as being so intense that she couldn’t even feel the pain at first. The memory of being trapped in such a vulnerable position, unable to move or escape, is something she will never forget. The violence left her physically and emotionally scarred, with lasting effects like headaches from the trauma.

However, the support she received from a neighbor who heard the commotion was a turning point. The neighbor immediately called the police, and it was this intervention that potentially saved her life. She praised the police for their swift response, as they were already familiar with her situation and had her details on record. The police’s familiarity with her case allowed them to act quickly, and soon the neighborhood rallied together to help. Some neighbors took her children in, offering them safety while the authorities dealt with the situation.

Despite the trauma of that night, she continued to worry about her children. Her older child was deeply affected, unable to sleep for months after the incident, while her younger child, though shocked, could be soothed by acts of kindness and affection. This demonstrated the lasting emotional damage that abuse can inflict on children, even when they are not directly harmed. The woman shared how she had to apologize to her children for things she didn’t understand, a heartbreaking example of how trauma seeps into every part of one’s life.

Through all this, the woman found herself apologizing for things she didn’t understand just to maintain peace, a common pattern in abusive relationships. This sense of manipulation and control, where one feels the need to constantly appease the abuser, is a reality for many survivors of domestic violence. She described how the abuser’s tactics, such as the silent treatment, were used to manipulate and break her down, to make her feel small and powerless. This kind of emotional manipulation is another form of abuse that is just as damaging as physical violence.

At the time, the woman didn’t fully realize the extent of the manipulation and control. She would apologize for things that weren’t her fault, simply to avoid confrontation. This behavior is not uncommon in abusive relationships, where the victim becomes so conditioned to placate the abuser that they lose their sense of self. It takes an immense amount of strength and support to break free from these cycles of abuse, and for this woman, that strength came over time.

Eventually, she found her strength. She began to realize that she no longer had to tolerate the abuse. She emphasized that the experience of being in an abusive relationship leaves scars, but with time and self-reflection, it is possible to regain one’s power. Finding strength after surviving abuse is a long journey, but it is one that is necessary for healing.

Her story was further amplified when she learned that the abuser, a well-known figure in South Africa, had been publicly criticized for his past actions. As more details about his abusive behavior emerged, the woman was both shocked and vindicated. She had been silenced for so long, but now the truth was being revealed. It was a surreal experience for her to see the man who had hurt her now being exposed for his past wrongs. The realization that she was not alone in her suffering, that others had also experienced similar abuse, was both comforting and heartbreaking.

The woman also touched on the jealousy that often exists in abusive relationships, where the abuser feels threatened by the successes of the victim. In her case, the man was jealous of her achievements and tried to undermine her at every turn. This type of insecurity often leads to controlling and abusive behavior, as the abuser seeks to dominate and belittle the victim.

She closed her message by calling for more awareness and open conversations about GBV. She urged South Africans to stop tolerating abuse, no matter how subtle it may seem. The first push, the first slap, is enough to end a relationship. Abuse should never be tolerated, and those who experience it should be encouraged to seek help and support. The silence surrounding GBV must end, and society must work together to break the cycle of abuse.

Her message is a powerful reminder that abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of their status or achievements. It’s a plea for society to take GBV seriously and to empower survivors to speak out and seek help. It’s also a call for individuals to recognize the signs of abuse and to know that it’s never too late to escape. Healing may take time, but it is possible, and it starts with speaking the truth and finding the strength to move forward.